Blog: Dating tips for you

Online dating broke my brain but gave me a boyfriend (and a black eye, kinda)

Okay so here’s the deal—I was so against online dating. Like, the idea of writing a bio where I pretend I’m cooler than I am? No thanks. Plus, I’ve seen enough “Hey 😊” messages to last a lifetime. But then my best friend staged an intervention with wine and threats of eternal singleness, and boom—I downloaded an app.

My very first match was this guy who looked too normal to be real. I panicked, wrote “hey 😊” like a total rookie, instantly cringed, and almost deleted the app. But then… he replied: “hey 😊 — my go-to awkward opener too.” And that’s how I fell for a man with the same chaotic texting energy.

We started talking, and it was cute! Until our first video call, where I tried to look all casual but also did a full face mask (clay green, of course). In the middle of this really deep conversation—like, him telling me about his childhood—I realized I looked like Shrek having an existential crisis. He paused, looked concerned, then said, “Are you okay… or are you summoning frogs?” We laughed so hard the call cut out.

Over the next few weeks, things got… real. We didn’t just flirt—we trauma bonded over our weird childhood snacks and mutual hatred for group projects. We watched movies together (well, I watched 12 minutes before passing out and he watched the whole thing alone like a champ), read the same book (I lied and skimmed), and even made a playlist (90% Taylor Swift, 10% his weird EDM picks).

When we finally planned to meet in person, I was SO ready. I even wore real pants. But fate said “not today.” I saw him standing at the café, smiled, waved—and walked directly into the glass door. Like, full-on forehead slap, dramatic thud, everyone turning to look. He rushed over, totally concerned, while trying not to laugh. I was mortified. He said, “That was... quite the entrance.” I said, “I like to make an impression.”

He didn’t run. We had coffee. We talked like we’d known each other forever. It felt weirdly normal—minus the throbbing bump on my head.

Fast-forward: we’re still together. He still has the screenshot from our glitchy first video call (I look like I’m mid-seizure), and he still brings up the Glass Door Incident anytime I try to be cool.

So yeah—online dating is weird and cringey and sometimes literally painful. But also? Sometimes it actually works. Even if you have to walk through (or into) a few doors to get there.

With the rise of online dating apps, finding love has never been easier—or riskier. As millions of people look for connection online, it’s important to understand how to date safely and protect your identity. Whether you're a first-time user or an experienced swiper, here’s what you need to know to stay safe while dating online in 2025.

1. Use Trusted Dating Sites

Choose apps and websites that have a good reputation. Look for platforms that offer profile verification, video chat, AI moderation, and block/report functions. These features help reduce fake profiles and scams. Some of the best dating apps with security also require ID verification or selfies to confirm users are real.

💡 Tip: Read reviews before signing up. If an app has too many fake profiles or no customer support, stay away.

2. Protect Your Personal Info

Never share personal details like your home address, bank account, passport ID, or workplace with someone you just met online. Even sharing small details like where you go to the gym or your favorite café can be risky if overdone.

🛑 Common mistake: Sending a photo of your driver’s license “just to prove you're real.”

3. Chat Before Meeting

Spend a few days (or weeks) chatting through the app or doing a video call. A real person won’t avoid calls or keep making excuses. This step helps weed out scammers and people with bad intentions.

📹 Bonus: Video chats help you build trust and get a better sense of the person's vibe.

4. Meet in Public Places

For your first few dates, always pick safe, busy locations like coffee shops, restaurants, or parks. Never agree to meet at someone’s home. Tell a friend or family member where you're going and check in with them after the date.

📍 Pro Tip: Share your live location with a trusted friend using your phone.

5. Trust Your Gut

Your intuition is your best friend. If someone makes you uncomfortable, cancels a lot, or moves too fast, it’s okay to block or stop talking to them. You don’t owe anyone a second chance when your safety is involved.

🚩 Red flag: They say they “love you” within a few days or ask you to move the conversation to WhatsApp right away.

6. Watch for Common Scams

Scammers can be smooth. They might pretend to be in the military, working abroad, or claim to be rich but suddenly need help. They’ll build emotional trust fast, then ask for money.

Signs of a scam:

• They refuse video calls
• Their photos look too perfect or are stolen from models
• They avoid personal questions
• They create drama (like fake emergencies) to ask for money

Final Thoughts: Stay Smart While Looking for Love

Online dating is a great way to meet new people, but safety should always come first. Use apps with real security features, stay cautious with your info, and always follow your instincts. When done right, dating online in 2025 can lead to real, lasting relationships.

Perhaps the most significant challenge in a toxic relationship is the victim's struggle to recognize it. Toxic behaviors can often masquerade as care, love, and support, leaving us uncertain about whether these actions are genuine expressions of affection or not. In this article, we will uncover the top six signs that may indicate you are in a toxic relationship. Let's begin!

The Relationship Scorecard

What Is It?:  The "keeping score" phenomenon occurs when your partner constantly holds past mistakes against you. When both individuals engage in this behavior, it transforms into what I refer to as the "relationship scorecard," turning the relationship into a competition to determine who has made the most errors over time and therefore owes the other person the most.

Why It’s Toxic:  The relationship scorecard is a frustrating situation. It not only diverts attention from the current issue by dwelling on past grievances but also manipulates one's partner by invoking guilt and bitterness, leading to negative feelings in the present.

Dropping “Hints” and Other Passive-Aggression

What Is It?:  Rather than expressing your thoughts directly, you or your partner resort to dropping hints, expecting the other person to guess your desires or intentions. Instead of openly communicating what is bothering you, you continue to drop hints, which often leads to frustration and anger because your partner may have no clue about what is going on in your mind.

Why It’s Toxic:  This type of relationship may provide comfort for both individuals involved. However, resorting to passive-aggressive communication indicates underlying insecurities within the relationship. If there were no fear of judgment or criticism, there would be no need to rely on dropping hints instead of openly and honestly communicating one's thoughts and feelings.

Holding the Relationship Hostage

What Is It?:  When an individual has a minor criticism or complaint, they resort to manipulating the other person by leveraging the threat of jeopardizing the entire relationship. For example, rather than expressing, "I sense that you're being cold at times," they say, "I cannot be with someone who is constantly cold towards me."

Why It’s Toxic: Engaging in emotional blackmail by holding the relationship hostage leads to excessive and unnecessary drama. Even minor issues within the relationship are blown out of proportion, causing a perceived crisis in commitment. It is essential for both individuals involved to understand that expressing negative thoughts and emotions can occur without jeopardizing the future of the relationship. Without the freedom to communicate honestly, a couple will suppress their true feelings, resulting in an atmosphere of mistrust and manipulation.

Blaming Your Partner for Your Own Emotions

What Is It?: Imagine you're having a rough day, and your partner isn't particularly empathetic or supportive. Perhaps they've been engrossed in work-related phone calls all day or got sidetracked when you sought comfort in a hug. You're in the mood to spend a cozy evening at home, watching a movie together, but your partner has made plans to go out and hang out with friends.

Why It’s Toxic: Assigning blame to our partners for our emotions is a self-centered act that reflects a lack of healthy personal boundaries. When we establish a pattern where our partners are constantly held accountable for our emotional state (and vice versa), it paves the way for a codependent relationship. Every decision, even simple activities like reading a book or watching TV, becomes subject to negotiation. As soon as someone becomes upset, individual desires are disregarded, and the focus shifts solely to soothing each other's feelings.

Displays of “Loving” Jealousy

What Is It?:  Becoming enraged when your partner interacts with or is in close proximity to someone else, and subsequently directing that anger towards your partner while attempting to manipulate their actions. This behavior frequently escalates to extreme actions such as invading your partner's privacy by hacking into their email, snooping through their text messages while they're showering, or even stalking them around town and unexpectedly appearing without prior notice.

Why It’s Toxic: It's baffling to witness how some individuals mistakenly perceive this behavior as a manifestation of affection, wrongly assuming that if their partner doesn't exhibit jealousy, it implies a lack of love or devotion.

Buying the Solutions to Relationship Problems

What Is It?:  In the face of significant conflicts or issues within a relationship, rather than resolving them directly, some individuals choose to mask them by indulging in the excitement and positive emotions that accompany purchasing something luxurious or embarking on a trip.

Why It’s Toxic: The act of resorting to material purchases not only masks the underlying problem, allowing it to resurface even stronger in the future, but it also establishes an unhealthy pattern within the relationship. While this issue is not limited to a specific gender, let's consider a gendered example for illustration purposes. Suppose, in a traditional scenario, a woman expresses anger towards her boyfriend/husband, and the man attempts to "resolve" the issue by buying her gifts or taking her to fancy restaurants. This approach not only unconsciously encourages the woman to seek more reasons to be upset with her partner, but it also eliminates any incentive for the man to take genuine accountability for the relationship problems. The result? A disengaged husband who feels like an ATM, and a perpetually resentful woman who feels unheard.

We’ve all been there—you match with someone cute, your heart skips a beat, and then comes the awkward pressure: What do I even say? Most people default to something safe like “Hey” or “How are you?” And while those aren’t offensive, they’re not exactly exciting either.

The truth is, your first message is your one shot to show that you're different from the hundred other people who matched with them that week. So how do you stand out?

Step one: read their profile. Really read it. If they mention loving road trips, ask, “What’s the most random place you’ve ever ended up on a road trip?” If they have a dog in their photos, ask, “Okay, I have to know your dog’s name and their weirdest habit.”

Step two: keep it light and specific. Think of your message like the opening scene of a rom-com—charming, curious, and just a bit flirty.

Step three: avoid interviews. “What do you do for a living?” can come later. First messages are about sparking a vibe, not conducting a background check.

Bad openers to skip? “U up?” (Just... no), copy-pasted compliments, or anything that sounds like a pickup line you found on Reddit. Be genuine. Be curious. Be yourself—but slightly funnier.

Remember, the goal isn't to craft the perfect message—it's to start a genuine conversation. The best openers feel natural, show you paid attention, and give the other person something interesting to respond to. And hey, if someone doesn't reply to your thoughtful message about their adorable French bulldog's addiction to stealing socks? Their loss.

Let’s be honest—online dating sounds easy in theory. Download the app, write a decent bio, upload a few photos, swipe, match, fall in love. Boom, done. Right? Not quite. If you've been out there swiping, chatting, and even going on dates but still haven’t found anything close to lasting love, you're not alone—and you're not broken.

There are a few common reasons why online dating doesn’t always lead to the fairy-tale ending we hope for. First off, your profile might be giving off the wrong vibe. Maybe it's too generic (“Love to laugh!”) or maybe your photos don’t tell a clear story about who you are. People scroll fast—you have to show personality quickly.

Second, you might be matching with people who aren’t looking for the same thing. If you're after something serious, but you’re spending time with people who “aren’t sure what they want,” you’re setting yourself up for frustration.

And third—this one’s big—you might be approaching online dating like a numbers game instead of a connection game. Swiping endlessly, going on back-to-back dates, or messaging ten people at once can burn you out and blur your standards.

So what should you do? Audit your profile, focus on quality over quantity, and don’t be afraid to pause the apps now and then to reconnect with what you actually want. Online dating is just one path to love—it works best when you treat it as a tool, not your entire strategy.

Here’s something people don’t talk about enough: online dating can be mentally exhausting. At first, it feels exciting—so many people, so many possibilities. But after weeks (or months) of swiping, ghosting, endless small talk, and disappointing first dates, something happens. You lose your spark. Dating starts to feel like a chore.

This is dating app burnout—and it’s more common than you think.

Symptoms? You start swiping without really looking. Conversations feel dull from the start. You cancel dates because you “don’t feel like it.” And worst of all, you start believing there’s no one good left out there. Sound familiar?

Here’s the good news: you can absolutely bounce back. The first step is a hard reset. That means closing the apps for a bit—not forever, but long enough to clear your head. Go out with friends, do something offline, and remind yourself that you're a full human being, not just a profile pic.

Then, when you're ready to come back, change your approach. Set boundaries—no more endless swiping or chatting with people you’re not excited about. Give yourself permission to say no, to skip a week, or to prioritize depth over quantity.

Most importantly, remember: you are not “bad” at dating. You're just human. Burnout happens when you try too hard, too fast, for too long. With a little space and a new mindset, you’ll enjoy the process again—and who knows, maybe even meet someone who’s feeling the same way.